Top 10 Things to Stop Dwelling On; Here Are #5 and #6

I spend way too much time rehashing conversations, chastising myself over unsaid compliments and all out worrying over things that are out of my control. I’m working on it and now sharing #5 and # 6 of the 10 things not to dwell on – Alec and Money…Well, Spent.


#5 This is not to suggest that in the Baldwin-scale of siblings, you’re necessarily a Stephen or a Daniel. You may be a Billy, and it is perfectly okay to be a Billy. But siblings are different people, and there is no use in spending a lifetime mulling over why your oldest brother is the handsomest, or the one with the book smarts or, like, the best actor. So your sister got the talent for piano playing and the super straight hair and the photographic memory. Think of it this way: That awesome person is your sibling! And just be thankful you’re both grown-ups, which means you don’t have to hear from any more high school teachers “Oh, I had your brother/sister…what a hard act to follow!”

Money, Well…Spent
#6 Oops. Your ModCloth trigger finger did it again; purchasing (with a not-very-well-thought-out click) a pair of flats that may or may not fit. Or you realize that professional development course you took amounted to 10 hours of paid chitchat, like a really boring escort service. Buyer’s remorse inflicts a special breed of pain—with it comes the shame of having not controlled yourself. But here’s the thing: The money’s gone, it’s spent. Think of how that verb—spent—also means dead, and move on. Should they fit, enjoy the flats. Or else, pass them along to a shoe-challenged friend and transform a fit of buyer’s remorse into a moment of largesse.

Hey, maybe a friend needs to read this!
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2 Responses to Top 10 Things to Stop Dwelling On; Here Are #5 and #6

  • carolyn m says:

    I can totally relate to your post on siblings. I was the baby of four and I was never the prettiest, smartest or fastest. Oh well.

  • tilting backwards says:

    Thanks, Cool Mona. This thoughtful reflection is a subset of the broader principle of not crying over spilt milk. Milk is spilt by someone every minute of every day, and if one doesn’t know how to move on, the path through life will be long and miserable. Everyone spills milk at some point — the only person who doesn’t make a mistake is the person who doesn’t do anything at all; and that leads only to a mountain of regret that no one can cross. All that we can demand of ourselves is that when we spill the milk, we consider how and why we did it, and try to take a lesson that makes the same mistake less likely in the future. I always say that I want to make new mistakes, not the same ones over and over.

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